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I used to eat a lot of natural foods, until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Don’t talk about yourself so much darling, we’ll do that when you leave.
May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it to be on Facebook.
Honesty is a very expensive gift, Don’t expect it from cheap people.
Fake people have an image to maintain. Real people just don’t care.
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
Lord give me patience. Because, if you give me strength, I’m gonna need bail money to go with it.
I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.
poster making
I made it through the day without having to beat anyone with a chair. I’d say my people skills a ...
Oh you’re dating my ex? Cool, I’m eating a sandwich. Want those leftovers too?
My mom’s kitchen serve 3 meals, frozen, microwave and takeout.
My mom’s favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations.
Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty. – Joan Rivers
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope
Birthdays are like buses, never the number you want.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old. Mary Schmich
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! – La ...
Age is a number and mine is unlisted.
http://www.quotes2love.com/15-funny-birthday-quotes-nobody-will-forget/
Can you snuff all these candles or should I call the fire department?
May you have more birthdays than 90% of the people in Game of Thrones!
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. Lucille Ball
Gorgeous, friendly, sweet, intelligent, kind, charming, hilarious, witty…well enough about me… H ...
Birthdays are nature’s way of telling you to eat more cake.
I was gonna give you something awesome for the birthday, but than the mailman made me get out of ...
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. Lao Tzu
To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders. Lao Tzu
At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want ...
A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. Lao Tzu
One is never over-dressed or underdressed with a Little Black Dress. Karl Lagerfeld
I like my money right where I can see it – hanging in my closet. Carrie Bradshaw

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