I used to eat a lot of natural foods, until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Don’t talk about yourself so much darling, we’ll do that when you leave.
May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it to be on Facebook.
Honesty is a very expensive gift, Don’t expect it from cheap people.
Fake people have an image to maintain. Real people just don’t care.
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
Lord give me patience. Because, if you give me strength, I’m gonna need bail money to go with it.
I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.
I made it through the day without having to beat anyone with a chair. I’d say my people skills a ...
Oh you’re dating my ex? Cool, I’m eating a sandwich. Want those leftovers too?